DataCentreBlues.

Inputs and ouputs. Restless energy. Serial phone scrolling. The passage of time.

They’re going to build their data centres no matter what we do or say. We don’t really understand what’s going on. Big sheds with a mysterious air about them. The council approved the plans. It’ll replace the petrochemical industry nicely. All that water, power and err ... data. Packets and packets of lovely data. Blips and buzzes. Like children singing. Wild flower meadow. Set on a green hill faraway in Auchtertool, up in Fife, where buffalo and ostrich used to graze peacefully before being turned into burgers.

Now the low hum of machines and occasional comings and goings will fill the airy space. The seagulls peacefully shit all across the fresh concrete of the loading bay deck. People just walking about.

There will be security staff, fences and CCTV. An app to book your shifts. Fat blokes eating crisps and drinking Monster, bragging about on-line betting in the break room. Zero hours contracts. Robot cleaners in the corridors. Bins full of used up pot noodle pots. Bird feeders by the substation. The commemorative plaque with the opening date and the name of somebody from the Scottish Office, framed by the main door.

Temporary staff who don’t know quite why they’re here or there.

Showers nobody ever uses. Somebody stole your work shoes from under the locker.

Bleary eyed workers getting picked up by a mini-bus based in Kirkcaldy, the cost of which is deducted from your wages. You have to stay by your work station until the last minute. The bus will wait. A trainee graduate will remind you of what you didn’t finish when you arrive the next morning. KPIs on iPad screens. A tiny bag of musty cocaine in an anorak pocket. A urine sample with your application form.

Out-sourced pay and HR services. A drinks machine that’s broken. PPE that doesn’t fit. Untended notices flap on notice boards. VIP visits - when everybody tries to hide. Secret smoke breaks. Fingerprint access machines that don’t really work. A bicycle rack without any bicycles.

Inputs and ouputs. Restless energy. Serial phone scrolling. The slow passage of time.

The bosses work from home. Every day.

Fife Jammer says that the A92 going east is blocked by an accident.

All of this when we could have been ship building (sic).